he Hunt For Red October (1984) was the first novel by the now
world-famous Tom Clancy. It is an action-packed thriller that takes place
against the backdrop of the Cold War, and Clancy's prose is full
ofprimarily negativecomments on the Soviet system and clearly pro-Western philosophical explorations of the characters' motivation. De
jacht op de Red October is an abridged translation by Thomas Mass and
Rein van Essen (Utrecht: A.W. Bruna Uitgevers, 1988). It is shorter by
approximately one third. The English paperback is 469 pages long, while
the Dutch paperback is only 316 pages long. The abridgements appear to be
politically motivated, robbing the story of Clancy's comments on the
Soviet system and philosophical explorations of the characters'
motivation. In contrast, the Russian translation (Okhota za "Krasnym
Oktyabrem", Moscow: Mir Publishers, 1997) translated by I. Pochitalina
leaves Clancy's comments and philosophy where they belong. Those who think
that they have read The Hunt for Red October, because they have
read De jacht op de Red October have another think coming.
The Russians can
read the unabridged Clancy, political comments and all. Is it not time
that the Dutch had the same opportunity? | The problems begin on the first page of the text, where Clancy has
Ramius and Kamarov keeping a weather eye on the "armed" icebreaker Purga.
(p. 2) In the Dutch text, they are watching the "armored" icebreaker
Purga. (p. 7) In English the words "armed" and "armored" only differ by
two letters, but there is a big difference in meaning. The use of the word
"armed" underscores the militariness of the icebreaker. The word "armored"
is neutral. The Dutch translators were not the only ones to soft-pedal
this distinction though, the Russian translator left out "armed"
altogether. Later in the text, however, when Clancy turns his attention to
political topics, freedom for example, the Russian translator stays right
in step with him, while the Dutch translation just pitches Clancy's
political agenda over the side.
In Clancy's version, Ryan thinks to himself "how difficult it was
for the Soviets. Probably harder than anything he had ever donetheir
bridges were burned. They had cast themselves away from everything they
had known, trusting that what they found would be better. Ryan hoped they
would succeed and make the transition from Communism to freedom. In the
past two days he had come to realize what courage it took for men to
defect. Facing a gun in a missile room was a small matter compared with
walking away from one's whole life. It was strange how easily Americans
put on their freedoms. How difficult would it be for men who had risked
their lives to adapt to something that men like Ryan so rarely
appreciated? It was people like these who had built the American Dream,
and people like these who were needed to maintain it. It was odd that such
men should come from the Soviet Union. Or perhaps, not so odd, Ryan
thought, listening to the conversation going back and forth in front of
him." (p. 411-12) The only concession the Russian translator made to
the political reality that his audience lives in was to change "Soviets"
to "Russians" and "Communism" to "Totalitarianism," small but politically
significant distinctions in Russia. (p. 457) All the rest of the text was
as it had been written.
In the Dutch version, however, Clancy's discussion of freedom is
gone and all that remains is the adventure story. The Dutch Ryan thought:
Vooral voor de Sovjets moest het moeilijk zijn, moeilijker dan wat hij
ooit in zijn eigen leven had ondervonden. Ze hadden al hun schepen achter
zich verbrand en de sprong in het duister gewaagd, geleid door de hoop dat
het aan de andere kant beter zou zijn. De laatste twee dagen had hij leren
inzien hoe hachelijk het bestaan van een deserteur was veel hachelijker
nog dan oog in oog met een gewapende vijand te staan, zoals hem zelf met
de saboteur was overkomen." (p. 276-7)
Back Translation: It must be especially difficult for the Soviets, harder
than anything that he had ever experienced in his own life. They had
burned all their ships behind them, and dared to take a leap in the dark,
led by the hope that it would be better on the other side. In the past two
days he had learned how perilous the existence of a deserter was, more
perilous than standing face to face with an armed enemy, something he
himself had experienced with the saboteur.
The Dutch text is less than half the length of Clancy's original82 words
instead of 170and is deprived of much more of its meaning than the
simple statistical comparison suggests. The comparison of freedom and
Communism is gone and the defectors have been demoted in stature by the
use of the pejorative word "deserteur" instead of the word drawn from the
jargon of the intelligence services that Clancy correctly used:
"overloper" (defector).
Clancy returns to the concept of freedom in a conversation between
Ryan and Ramius just before the Red October docks, in which Ryan is trying
to explain to Ramius why there might be civilian boat traffic on the
Chesapeake Bay. "It's a free country, Captain," Ryan said softly. "It will
take you some time to understand what free really means. The word is often
misused, but in time you will see how wise your decision was." (p. 463)
Ryan's explanation is completely missing in the Dutch version (p. 312),
while it is elegantly translated in the Russian edition. The deletion of
the discussion of freedom in both segments suggests that it is more than
pure coincidence.
Anyone who has worked as a translator knows how easy it is to
mistranslate a word or to forget a line. The coherence of the type of
material that was removed in the Dutch translationas illustrated by the
two examples abovesuggests that the deletions were not the result of
translator error, but the result of conscious editorial policy that would
not have been out of place in the Soviet Union, where Clancy's books could
not be published. The Russian translation cited above only came out after
the end of the Cold War and the fall of the Soviet Union. The Russians can
read the unabridged Clancy, political comments and all. Is it not time
that the Dutch had the same opportunity?
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